I have been always a fan of attention. I love when people admire my efforts. I love it even more when they tell other people how incredible I am. To make people like me, or appreciate my efforts, I often cross the boundary of real me and create an imaginary version of myself. I do this pretty well.
Let me tell you how I do it. It’s simple, I try to make people believe how long and hard I have been working at something (creating a new business, learning a new language, dating a lot of girls). Or I tell them that it’s something I’ve been learning for quite some time.
And I keep saying that (subtly) till they are convinced that I really am what I say I am.
Usually the question that follows is “That’s great. So how do you know so much about it? And what should I do to improve myself?”
And I say “I have worked very hard to learn that. And you should too. Just keep in mind..(add a piece of advice here….)”
That’s it! People subconsciously believe that if a person works hard for something, he sure knows a lot about it. And if he is working specifically on that thing for some time, there is no point disagreeing with him. I am not sure why it works. But it works every time.
It is pretty easy to make people believe that I am better than what I really am. People love to know more about ideas they admire and that’s how I collect popularity points.
But all this drama comes at a cost. I have to live up to what they believe about me.
And it takes a lot of my real time.
It’s true that I overdo it. And I fake myself so often that I have developed an addiction to it. But somewhere deep down, I also believe that it’s human to crave appreciation. And it’s perfectly natural for people to differentiate themselves from the masses.
People create a different version of themselves.
After breakup, I had an extremely hard time….(exaggarate a bit about your hard time here so that the listener sympathizes with you) but I managed to get out of it all on my own.
This way I get to tell him silently that I am a tough girl (tougher than you really are). Because I believe that the listener likes girls who are mentally strong. I have a reason to pretend to be one. I want him, like, totally.
I believe the car I bought is a sign that I am successful. So I have to make sure that people who don’t like me take a good look at it and feel jealous about my achievements…..(hide the mortgage and the problems with your boss here).
The sad thing about creating this different you is that you have to live up to the identity you created (at least in your mind). So now you can’t tell that person that you can’t handle a hard time after he breaks up with you, when your courage was the main reason he got attracted towards you.
You can’t tell everyone that you are having financially tough time because your job got messed up. You will be betraying the identity you created when you bought the car.
So what does this bring into your life?
A hell lot of anxieties.
After three months, will your partner care about your after your breakup? Or will people who didn’t like you talk about your car?
But you have a reason to think about keeping up your false identity everyday.
So here is a bit of advice. Leave that extra load off of your mind. Trust me! It’s not worth it.
“How do I know that?”
“Because I have been trying extremely hard to learn to be real me and not a theoretically better version of me. And for past two years I have been reading about people who have successfully done it. That’s why.”
I did it again. Didn’t I? Faking myself.